I don't really like to admite when I had a bad day, because that just makes the day even worse. And I especially don't like to mention in here on the blog but I thought that maybe I will feel a little better if I actually write it down.
Last week was rough, I worked a lot (!!!), I had a really hard time with some kids, I was mad, sad and just really disapointed in life. I missed California, my life, family and the weather there. I'm usually a very positive person but when I get sad, I really just bury myself in the sadness. I have been running away from missing the US. I have told myself that this is the life I'm living now and be happy with that. But last week it really hit me that I miss it so darn much. I need sunshine, friends, and a lot of starbucks coffee, haha. I'm trying to work my way through it but I'm stuck. I can't get away from missing it, I cant get away that I need my girlies, my amazing new friends and the easy, happy, cool life I had.
I don't even have the positive words and the strength to bring myself back up, I'm so down and I hate it. I know that I'm the only one that can change it. I'm the only one who can pull myself up, but it takes so much energy and I don't feel like I have it. I feel week. I feel like I'm fading, I feel like the worst rainstorm is right above me. Where is the sunshine?
I will get back to you all when I'm on my way up again. I think I need to have less expectations on myself, I need to relax and think more of myself. My soul need a surgery and good treatment and some recovery. I will get back on the horse again, I know that. It just takes time and I need to have patience. Life will take me by storm again, but until then: I'll wait out the rain and stand in the storm beacsue that's apperently what I need to do, I have show my strength.
+ Life: It was more that I thought it would be +
Kommentera